Until then, I am left to wonder. I contemplate the meaning of life, the right and the wrong, the light and the dark, and all of the troubles I face in the meanwhile. I look at the world around me and see faces that long for hope, but cover up what hope they do have with a mask of guile. They cover it up with a veil and pretend that life is something that it isn't.
I'm not sure what this means. Why is that those of us who are supposed to have the most hope--that is, those with youth to help us--often appear to be the most hopeless. What pain has been incurred that we must cover up to protect ourselves from the external violence that tears through this world? What terrible fight in our hearts has made us so weak when it comes to withstanding the forces that push in from the outside?
Why have our own youth covered the city gates with a curtain instead of an iron-clad door?
Why in my own heart do the contradictions of right and wrong make me so weary? All I want is to rest. All I want is to see truth and to know that it really is true. Where has my assurance gone? Why am I continually picking myself up off the floor so I can shout in the face of the storm one more time?
If something is not true, then it is a lie. And if it is a lie, then it can't stand up to the overpowering light of truth. So then, saying that I prefer the light over the darkness, why do lies still come knocking at my door to whisper in my ear? Or of greater terror, why do I hear lies from the mouths of those who claim to love truth? Why do they claim as law that which is merely a good idea at best? Why do they continue talking when all they've done is add to the noise? They talk for their own sake. Their words don't heal. Their words devour.
Father, let me bridle my tongue.
Like I said, I know that this ol' body of mine can only survive for so long. It is passing away. It is temporary, it is not my home. It is slowly being eaten away to rust and dust, even in my youth. So again, where is the hope of my youth?
I think maybe it's in being able to look at this world of lies and corruption and saying, 'I do have enough strength to overcome this.' No falsehood is strong enough that it is too much to be overcome. I believe that indeed there is a coming kingdom that will overthrow all of this wicked tide that we have been told must be right, just because that's the way things are going. Yes, in the larger painting of all things, I believe that the real motion of things is in favor of Yahweh, the Almighty.
"And there were loud voices in heaven, saying, 'The kingdoms of this world have become the kingdoms of Yahweh and His Messiah, and He shall reign forever and ever!'" (Rev. 11:15).
I believe that no matter what the consequences are, serving Yahweh is the way we are going, regardless of what we want to think. We may face hardship, we may face persecution, we may die, but Yahweh will reign, whether we choose to follow him or not. So I encourage myself and anyone, especially those young enough to change their habits, to not exchange the lies you were told for other lies that you were told. Nothing temporary is truth. Search only for that which lasts. Seek out the Messiah, that he may lead you to the throne of Yahweh. Go stand in the court of the King and say, "Here I am once again, broken as usual, but I still want to serve the side of victory."
My brothers and sisters, we are all in this together. Most of us in the world are pushing the wrong way. Every time we sin, we are pushing the wrong way. Or rather, every time we are pushing the wrong way, we are sinning. Someone once asked me, "What is sin, anyway?" It is this: violence and confusion against love and truth. This world is a mess. There is a reason they often call it Babylon. I will not stand for it. I will not condone lies just to keep pretending that everything is alright.
I have hope for the hopeless. I have faith for the faithless. I push to love the loveless. And I am very far from perfect. But let us stop devouring our youth. Let us stop telling them their hope is in festivals and new moons and well-spoken word studies. Instead, let us find our service at the foot of Yahweh's throne and in feeding his people. Let us live--breathing in and breathing out--like we mean it. Because we do. We have our youth, and the youth want something better than has ever been seen before, just as long as our elders don't consume it first.