The life of an average live-in elf is not uncomplicated, though the principles by which it must live are simple. First, the elf must swear fealty to its master, promising to hold entirely to the word and discipline of the master. Second, a live-in elf is primarily a servant, and only secondarily a friend of the master, if the master so chooses to befriend the elf. Third, a live-in elf must at all times have a clean nose. Live-in elves are known for their poor hygiene--and this is normally accepted by the master--but the elf is even so given to the duty of having a clean nose, representing its desire to promote good personal hygiene.
In order to remain in the service of his master long enough to reap the benefits of his master's grace, a live-in elf must be eager and willing to practice these three principles of proper behavior. However, simply practicing these principles is not in itself admirable for a live-in elf, except in the case of a newly trained live-in elf. Instead, a live-in elf should seek to learn and understand the purpose of the principles, knowing the reasons upon which they have been established. The experienced live-in elf of a benificent master will understand the purpose and lesson of the rules, thereby surpassing the discipline of the rules and coming to rely soley upon the instructions of the master, who will in turn graciously provide for the needs of the elf.
--from The Handbook for a Successful Elf-Master Relationship, 3rd Ed.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
A Brief Recollection of the Events of August 19, 1994
Yeah, I remember it.
The chickens passed by without a word.
The dogs were afraid to say anything.
We kept to ourselves.
If the chickens were up to something, then okay.
Who were we to stop them?
Just because this is a farm don't mean we don't bow to the chickens.
You see, they had a plan.
After they took up torches and egged the cows
The chickens headed to town, and yes...
Yes, I remember it....
The chickens passed by without a word.
The dogs were afraid to say anything.
We kept to ourselves.
If the chickens were up to something, then okay.
Who were we to stop them?
Just because this is a farm don't mean we don't bow to the chickens.
You see, they had a plan.
After they took up torches and egged the cows
The chickens headed to town, and yes...
Yes, I remember it....
Thursday, April 8, 2010
The Gloaming Limn
In the gloaming limn there are things like darkness, because it is told what terrible things are coming to everyone. And then there are promises made--despite all of the darkness--of good things to come. And it is explained, to everyone's amazement, that light will come because the darkness is foretold.
So the gloaming and the night are meant to be endured for the sake of the morning and for the sake of all the new things that come with the dawn.
A choice is presented in the gloaming limn--a choice of importance to those listening. It is found that there is a difference between darkness and illumination in which a decision is necessary. There is a lack of perfection in those who witness the gloaming, and so by the limn have their choice.
May the choosing result only in life and never in death.
The morning will come and everything will be seen new. All will awaken and all will bloom and all is now hope. For all of their fashion, those in the gloaming limn know their cold incompletion. The sun is gone, the night is here, and they swallow their pill.
Yet the choice remains, the hope of the morning, with Truth himself telling us: "Have your fashion, it is yours."
In the gloaming limn
We are tired and lonely.
We find that together we are alone,
With nowhere to run.
There is darkness dying the sky
And light grabbing our clothes.
What fearful times are these,
To know that what we are promised,
Just might kill us.
Are you going home?
In the gloaming limn
What truth do you want to see,
When mercy marks us
To be inwardly assigned?
The clouds cover our bright red moon.
The goddess casts a long shadow.
Our children prophesy.
And in the gloaming limn, I still believe.
So the gloaming and the night are meant to be endured for the sake of the morning and for the sake of all the new things that come with the dawn.
A choice is presented in the gloaming limn--a choice of importance to those listening. It is found that there is a difference between darkness and illumination in which a decision is necessary. There is a lack of perfection in those who witness the gloaming, and so by the limn have their choice.
May the choosing result only in life and never in death.
The morning will come and everything will be seen new. All will awaken and all will bloom and all is now hope. For all of their fashion, those in the gloaming limn know their cold incompletion. The sun is gone, the night is here, and they swallow their pill.
Yet the choice remains, the hope of the morning, with Truth himself telling us: "Have your fashion, it is yours."
In the gloaming limn
We are tired and lonely.
We find that together we are alone,
With nowhere to run.
There is darkness dying the sky
And light grabbing our clothes.
What fearful times are these,
To know that what we are promised,
Just might kill us.
Are you going home?
In the gloaming limn
What truth do you want to see,
When mercy marks us
To be inwardly assigned?
The clouds cover our bright red moon.
The goddess casts a long shadow.
Our children prophesy.
And in the gloaming limn, I still believe.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Shall We Gather at the River?
Harrison and George stood at the fence. They were going to make a break for it; leave the good ol’ USA and wander through the Canadian wilderness.
“There it is, George,” said Harrison. “Canada!”
“It sure looks nice, sir,” said George.
“It is nice. Very nice, in fact. Have you never been to Canada before?”
“Not ever.”
“Well, now is your chance, George. All that is left between us and freedom is this tall fence with barbed wire at the top.”
“I never imagined that the fence would be so tall and violent, sir.”
“Of course the fence is tall and violent! Don’t you know why it’s here? It’s obvious George, the Canadians want to keep us out. And I certainly understand why. Do you know why George? It’s because if we all invaded Canada like we want, then the majority of the population wouldn’t be Canadian! It’s a political thing, George. You have to think about these things.”
George looked at Harrison, and then down at his own hands. “I should have thought of that, sir, you are right.”
“Don’t worry about it, George, that’s why I am leading this expedition.”
“So what do we do next?”
“We find a way over the fence, of course. The hard part will be the barbed wire, but that is just a matter of careful work to overcome.”
“Sir, I am wondering something….”
“What is it, George?”
“Well, I have been looking at the ground on the other side of the fence and have noticed that it's all dry and dusty, and the little bit of grass is rather brown and gray. Isn’t the grass supposed to be greener on the other side of the fence?”
“You might think that, George, but that doesn’t apply to situations like this! You see, clearly the Canadians want to keep us out, so they have made it look worse over there! But it's just a trick. You see, it's actually great in Canada. This is shown by the simple fact that they have made it appear worse on the other side of the fence. They have reversed the saying, George. They have made their side look worse, making our side appear to be the better side of the fence, while all along they keep us out and their side of the fence is made better by being made worse. You have to think about these things.”
“Of course, sir.”
“Now, let’s get to finding a way over this fence. Let me lead you in this, George, since this is the hard part.”
“Yes, sir, where will you lead me?”
Harrison laughed. “It is a funny thing, George, what I just realized.”
“You figured out why the only green things on the other side of the fence are those cactuses in the distance there?” George pointed.
“What? No, listen to me, George. You see, I just realized that I am just like Moses, leading the Israelites into the Promised Land. You would be the Israelites, of course, and Canada is the Promised Land. Having come out of slavery to the ways of the United States, I have led you to the border of a better place. We have walked through the desert on this side, for what, forty hours? And now we have come to it at last! Only one last obstacle to overcome. This fence, much like the River Jordan, is all that keeps us on this side. Come, George my Israel, let us wait no longer. Let your Moses lead you into the Promised Land!”
George nodded his head and asked, “Didn’t Moses die before Israel went into the Promised Land?”
Harrison stared at the fence for several minutes. “Shall we go home now, George? I think we have seen enough here.”
“Yes, sir, let’s go home.”
So Harrison and George walked away from the fence, with the setting sun on their left.
“There it is, George,” said Harrison. “Canada!”
“It sure looks nice, sir,” said George.
“It is nice. Very nice, in fact. Have you never been to Canada before?”
“Not ever.”
“Well, now is your chance, George. All that is left between us and freedom is this tall fence with barbed wire at the top.”
“I never imagined that the fence would be so tall and violent, sir.”
“Of course the fence is tall and violent! Don’t you know why it’s here? It’s obvious George, the Canadians want to keep us out. And I certainly understand why. Do you know why George? It’s because if we all invaded Canada like we want, then the majority of the population wouldn’t be Canadian! It’s a political thing, George. You have to think about these things.”
George looked at Harrison, and then down at his own hands. “I should have thought of that, sir, you are right.”
“Don’t worry about it, George, that’s why I am leading this expedition.”
“So what do we do next?”
“We find a way over the fence, of course. The hard part will be the barbed wire, but that is just a matter of careful work to overcome.”
“Sir, I am wondering something….”
“What is it, George?”
“Well, I have been looking at the ground on the other side of the fence and have noticed that it's all dry and dusty, and the little bit of grass is rather brown and gray. Isn’t the grass supposed to be greener on the other side of the fence?”
“You might think that, George, but that doesn’t apply to situations like this! You see, clearly the Canadians want to keep us out, so they have made it look worse over there! But it's just a trick. You see, it's actually great in Canada. This is shown by the simple fact that they have made it appear worse on the other side of the fence. They have reversed the saying, George. They have made their side look worse, making our side appear to be the better side of the fence, while all along they keep us out and their side of the fence is made better by being made worse. You have to think about these things.”
“Of course, sir.”
“Now, let’s get to finding a way over this fence. Let me lead you in this, George, since this is the hard part.”
“Yes, sir, where will you lead me?”
Harrison laughed. “It is a funny thing, George, what I just realized.”
“You figured out why the only green things on the other side of the fence are those cactuses in the distance there?” George pointed.
“What? No, listen to me, George. You see, I just realized that I am just like Moses, leading the Israelites into the Promised Land. You would be the Israelites, of course, and Canada is the Promised Land. Having come out of slavery to the ways of the United States, I have led you to the border of a better place. We have walked through the desert on this side, for what, forty hours? And now we have come to it at last! Only one last obstacle to overcome. This fence, much like the River Jordan, is all that keeps us on this side. Come, George my Israel, let us wait no longer. Let your Moses lead you into the Promised Land!”
George nodded his head and asked, “Didn’t Moses die before Israel went into the Promised Land?”
Harrison stared at the fence for several minutes. “Shall we go home now, George? I think we have seen enough here.”
“Yes, sir, let’s go home.”
So Harrison and George walked away from the fence, with the setting sun on their left.
Monday, April 5, 2010
On the Crauhnice Principle
Interesting Observations about Life by Joy Osympelmin
From Chapter 12, "The Crauhnice Principle"
It has come to my attention recently that there is a thinking among the amused that involves doing quite unexpected or strange things in an attempt to spread amusement, as well as other equally unexpected goodness. The idea being that there is good in the thing itself, or the action, or the words, rather than in the way that it is presented. This is a principle which I like to refer to as the Crauhnice Principle. ‘Crauhnice’ simply being a word used to describe anything that is so strange, abnormal, insane—crazy, if you will—that it turns out to be nothing other than truly nice.
Now, crauhnice things, actions, words, events, people, etc. are wonderful things to behold when you find them. It is because there may be no greater way to discover beauty than when it is unexpected. So these crauhnice things, when found, tend to bring joy to those who gain by them. Thus, those who live by the Crauhnice Principle, meaning that they try to invent that which is crauhnice, try to spread their adventure to those around them. True, this can easily—and often does—lead to some confusion, but the crauhnice people tend to believe that in most cases this minor confusion is acceptable sacrifice for the times that produce that which is truly crauhnice.
I have personally observed crauhnice behavior to be an amusing and somewhat entertaining activity. So I must consider that the crauhnice people, who are indeed out there, may be on to something. However, those who wish to live crauhnice must fully implement it into their thinking for it to be effective. So, I did find that it was worth a try; but it did, for at least the short time I tried it, take up my thinking. This may have merely been because of my self-training in it, and may recede with time, but it was work. I suppose, however, that the more ways in which one applies crauhnice activities to their life that it will be much quicker to learn, and be overall more effective.
From Chapter 12, "The Crauhnice Principle"
It has come to my attention recently that there is a thinking among the amused that involves doing quite unexpected or strange things in an attempt to spread amusement, as well as other equally unexpected goodness. The idea being that there is good in the thing itself, or the action, or the words, rather than in the way that it is presented. This is a principle which I like to refer to as the Crauhnice Principle. ‘Crauhnice’ simply being a word used to describe anything that is so strange, abnormal, insane—crazy, if you will—that it turns out to be nothing other than truly nice.
Now, crauhnice things, actions, words, events, people, etc. are wonderful things to behold when you find them. It is because there may be no greater way to discover beauty than when it is unexpected. So these crauhnice things, when found, tend to bring joy to those who gain by them. Thus, those who live by the Crauhnice Principle, meaning that they try to invent that which is crauhnice, try to spread their adventure to those around them. True, this can easily—and often does—lead to some confusion, but the crauhnice people tend to believe that in most cases this minor confusion is acceptable sacrifice for the times that produce that which is truly crauhnice.
I have personally observed crauhnice behavior to be an amusing and somewhat entertaining activity. So I must consider that the crauhnice people, who are indeed out there, may be on to something. However, those who wish to live crauhnice must fully implement it into their thinking for it to be effective. So, I did find that it was worth a try; but it did, for at least the short time I tried it, take up my thinking. This may have merely been because of my self-training in it, and may recede with time, but it was work. I suppose, however, that the more ways in which one applies crauhnice activities to their life that it will be much quicker to learn, and be overall more effective.
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