Shall We Gather at the River?

Harrison and George stood at the fence. They were going to make a break for it; leave the good ol’ USA and wander through the Canadian wilderness.

“There it is, George,” said Harrison. “Canada!”

“It sure looks nice, sir,” said George.

“It is nice. Very nice, in fact. Have you never been to Canada before?”

“Not ever.”

“Well, now is your chance, George. All that is left between us and freedom is this tall fence with barbed wire at the top.”

“I never imagined that the fence would be so tall and violent, sir.”

“Of course the fence is tall and violent! Don’t you know why it’s here? It’s obvious George, the Canadians want to keep us out. And I certainly understand why. Do you know why George? It’s because if we all invaded Canada like we want, then the majority of the population wouldn’t be Canadian! It’s a political thing, George. You have to think about these things.”

George looked at Harrison, and then down at his own hands. “I should have thought of that, sir, you are right.”

“Don’t worry about it, George, that’s why I am leading this expedition.”

“So what do we do next?”

“We find a way over the fence, of course. The hard part will be the barbed wire, but that is just a matter of careful work to overcome.”

“Sir, I am wondering something….”

“What is it, George?”

“Well, I have been looking at the ground on the other side of the fence and have noticed that it's all dry and dusty, and the little bit of grass is rather brown and gray. Isn’t the grass supposed to be greener on the other side of the fence?”

“You might think that, George, but that doesn’t apply to situations like this! You see, clearly the Canadians want to keep us out, so they have made it look worse over there! But it's just a trick. You see, it's actually great in Canada. This is shown by the simple fact that they have made it appear worse on the other side of the fence. They have reversed the saying, George. They have made their side look worse, making our side appear to be the better side of the fence, while all along they keep us out and their side of the fence is made better by being made worse. You have to think about these things.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Now, let’s get to finding a way over this fence. Let me lead you in this, George, since this is the hard part.”

“Yes, sir, where will you lead me?”

Harrison laughed. “It is a funny thing, George, what I just realized.”

“You figured out why the only green things on the other side of the fence are those cactuses in the distance there?” George pointed.

“What? No, listen to me, George. You see, I just realized that I am just like Moses, leading the Israelites into the Promised Land. You would be the Israelites, of course, and Canada is the Promised Land. Having come out of slavery to the ways of the United States, I have led you to the border of a better place. We have walked through the desert on this side, for what, forty hours? And now we have come to it at last! Only one last obstacle to overcome. This fence, much like the River Jordan, is all that keeps us on this side. Come, George my Israel, let us wait no longer. Let your Moses lead you into the Promised Land!”

George nodded his head and asked, “Didn’t Moses die before Israel went into the Promised Land?”

Harrison stared at the fence for several minutes. “Shall we go home now, George? I think we have seen enough here.”

“Yes, sir, let’s go home.”

So Harrison and George walked away from the fence, with the setting sun on their left.